This wasn’t intended to be my next blog entry. Tonight, was perhaps one of the most horrifying events in my children’s life; maybe mine too.
I bought plane tickets for my children to come visit me during their Spring Break. Ticket prices were abnormally high due to the volume of travel during March, and they ended up costing me $777. I bought these tickets about a month ago. As always, I forwarded the flight information to the alienating parent. I asked her to provide the return flight information as soon as she purchased the flights. Today, over three weeks later, I received an email from her lawyer stating that if I did not buy the return flights, then the children would not be coming. I decided to sleep on this information tonight before responding to her lawyer.
Tonight, was skype night with my kiddos. Immediately upon answering, I was slapped in the face. My daughter looked upset and immediately said “mommy says that you haven’t bought the tickets so we can’t come to Kansas for Spring Break.” Typically, the first question I get on skype is “daddy, how many days until we get to see you?” I immediately started balling, and everything went to shit from there.
It is difficult to downplay a significant event such as this, via skype, while crying my eyes out. I tried. I failed. Finally, I told my kids that statement wasn’t true, and that I had bought their tickets weeks ago, as I had already shown them, and that it is their mothers responsibility to purchase the return flights.
At this point, the mother flew in a fit of rage and screamed that maybe I could afford the flights if I hadn’t gone to Costa Rica. What?! That trip was six months ago, and I didn’t say that I couldn’t afford it, I said it was her responsibility, as per court orders.
By this point both children were crying. My daughter, being the fire ball that she is, is flaming mad. She stormed into the bedroom, and slammed the door. We spent the next five minutes just looking at each other trying to calm down. After we finally hung up, she texted me that she was going to talk to the school counselor tomorrow, and tell him it is all her mommies fault. I tried to explain to her that would not do any good, but if she just needed to talk to someone, then she should see the counselor. I assured her that we would get through this and get it all figured out. I didn’t even know what that meant.
Other than the possibility of not seeing my children for seven months, here is the issue for me. Since she kidnapped my children to Oregon I have spent over $5000 on travel, just to see my children. She has not offered one single cent to help, although she has been ordered to by the court. Anyone should interpret that to indicate that she has no desire to support a relationship between my children and me. As much as it kills me to think that I may not see my children for seven months, I must do what I believe is right. It is not so much about the money, as about setting a precedence. If I continue to let her walk all over me now, then I will be in for a long 12 years or more. Equally as important, it is about not maintaining the status qou. If we continue to let alienating parents abuse us, then nothing will ever change.
Right now, I hurt. My children hurt. This entire process is wrong on every level. My children think that I am a tough guy. Tonight, they learned that they are my kryptonite. Remember kiddos, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. We are survivors you and I. I love you.